The Sunday between Christmas Day and the Feast of Mary, Mother of God (New Years Day) is the Feast of the Holy Family.
When I was a kid, I often heard preached from the pulpit from the priest, who was celibate and had no children, how the families of the parish were to model their family life after that of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. This was hammered home even in Catholic school, where we were directed by the religious sisters to engrave as a header on all our homework papers, J.M.J. (Jesus, Mary, Joseph).
I often thought the “advice” of how to raise children from those who have no children generally had no great worth. It is like the story of a Protestant minister, who young and single, use to preach a sermon entitled, “How to raise your children.” Then he got married, had some children, and changed the title of his sermon to “Advice on how to raise your children.” Then his kids got to be teenagers and he quit preaching on the subject altogether.
Let’s face it, in real life how many human families have pregnancies miraculously conceived without a physical father, in utero or in a petri dish? How many of our children are both human and divine? And, specifically for Catholics, how many of our mothers were born without original sin? The answer is none. Compared to the normal human family, the Holy Family was not traditional and normal, but rather extraordinary.
Yet, in the little that is revealed about the Holy Family in scripture, we find them very much engaged with the world and suffering many of the same things as all “regular, normal” human families. They know all about political oppression and war living in a nation that was occupied by a foreign power. They were political refugees fleeing for their lives. They had to eke out a living like all people. They had to cook, clean, bathe, like all other humans. They got hungry, got tired, and got sick like all other humans. Joseph and Mary fussed over him like all parents.
Aside from his divine nature, Jesus was like all other kids. The human side of him, often neglected in much theology, was just as curious about the world as any kid. He had to go through his own “terrible twos”, learn how to eat, read, and socialize like any kid. His curiosity led him to not always listen to his folks as intently as he should have, so much so, he got separated from them at twelve years of age staying behind at the temple without telling them, causing his parents great distress.
As different as the aspects of the individuals in the Holy Family may be from a normal family, the family life of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph is very much like that of our families. What can we learn from them?
First, they always placed God first in their lives. They were not strangers at the synagogue in Nazareth. They were well known as members of their synagogue. Jesus did not learn the Torah in utero, he learned the Torah at class, just like any other kid. They observed and celebrated their important religious holidays, Yom Kippur, Passover, Hannakah, etc.
Second, from what we hear Jesus preach in the Gospels, their idea of family was not just confined to their own nuclear family. Jesus preached and lived a very inclusive understanding of family. All who hear and live the Word of God are defined by Jesus as his family (Luke 8:19-21). Jesus loved and accepted as family many who were rejected by his society. He ate and drank with tax collectors and prostitutes, welcoming them to his table. He gave hope and love to all who felt hopeless and believed no one loved them. Most importantly, he taught people that God loved all people as a loving parent, that all people were sons and daughters of God.
What I have found over 42 years of ministry, is that no family can be defined by the word “traditional” as we use the word traditional. All families, like the Holy Family, are extraordinary, whether they consist of a father, mother, and children, a single parent and children, two fathers and children, and two mothers and children. What makes a family extraordinary is that which made the Holy Family extraordinary.
No matter in what kind of family in which we may find ourselves, may we follow their example in placing God first in our lives, and in seeing in all people, sons and daughters of one great family of God, our loving parent; and, in seeing in all people their relationship to Jesus and to us as our brothers and sisters.
