47 years ago, Ruthie and I got married at St Bridget of Sweden Catholic Church in Lindstrom, Minnesota. On that day, what I wanted the most in my life happened when Ruthie and I exchanged our vows. I am sure the wedding lasted 60 minutes, but I was so caught up in the what was happening in my life, the time passed so very quickly.
Ruthie was the first in her family to be married. Ten years after we had been married, she told me that as her parents escorted her up the aisle, her dad kept on telling her, “You can get out of this if you want to. I won’t be mad.” It was a good thing Ruthie waited until her dad and I were good friends before she told me that anecdote. Truth be told, I totally understood why he said that. His beautiful daughter was getting married to a newly graduated music major, whose only job was as an x-ray aide at Miller Hospital (I was a glorified wheel chair jockey). I wouldn’t have a full-time teaching position for another 9 months. In many ways, I was still a bit of a screw up who was head over heels in love with his daughter. This Christmas, I wrote him thanking him for allowing me to marry his daughter.
Remembering our wedding in 2011, I wrote this poem.
The moment for which I have waited
from the time I first proposed to you,
arrives like music on the air.
Chosen scriptures read,
homily preached, all unnoticed,
unheard by me, so utterly
captivated am I by you
kneeling at my side.
I pinch myself, “Am I dreaming?
Is it really you next to me
and not some hologram?
Is the culmination of al
for which I have wished
and hoped, actually happening?”
We stand and as the priest
says, “repeat after me,”
you begin, “I, Ruth, take you Bob
for my husband …”
Rings placed on proffered fingers,
the mutual signaculum
of covenantal love.
A kiss seals the covenant,
life takes on the dream.
© 2011. Deacon Bob Wagner. All rights reserved.
Having gotten married at 7 pm on a Friday evening, by the time the wedding, the dinner, and reception was over, it was nearly midnight before we started the drive up to the Duluth Radisson. It was bitterly cold out, Nixon had imposed a strict 55 mph speed limit, so it was a good 2 hours prior to our getting to Duluth. Every time I was tempted to speed, a Highway Patrol would enter the freeway and tail us. This occurred the entire trip up to Duluth. Gad! Ruthie had worked the night shift the day of our wedding and had only gotten a couple hours of sleep before she needed to get ready for the wedding. She thankfully got a couple of hours of sleep in the car on the cold ride up to Duluth.
Only able to afford to stay at the Radisson in Duluth for a couple of nights, we tried to make the most of our stay. At the time, our favorite alcoholic beverage was rum and coke. With a quart of rum and a 2 liter bottle of coke, and the ice machine down the hallway, we had plenty to drink at little cost. Ruthie did introduce me to real Chinese Food on our honeymoon. Prior to this, my only knowledge of Chinese food was the Choy Mein served at a school lunch. I was in 2nd grade and refused to eat it. I told the nun that it looked like someone threw-up on a plate. After reminding me that poor children in China were starving, and making me miss noon recess, while I looked at the disgusting mess on my plate, it soured any curiosity about ever having any Chinese cuisine again.
We walked in the -25 degree weather to the Chinese Lantern. The restaurant all decked out in red and black decor. Needless to say, given my prior experience with Chow Mein, I was apprehensive about having any Chinese food. Ruthie convinced me to try sweet and sour pork. OMG! Was that tasty! Far better than that crap I had been served as a second grader. I have always stated that it is Ruthie who introduces me to the best in the world, and that first taste of Chinese was just a beginning of a love for Chinese food.
The one feature of the Duluth Radisson is a revolving restaurant on the top of the hotel. It was a very pricey meal, but a very classy and delicious meal. As we enjoyed our meal we were given a panoramic view of Duluth. Many years later, we continue to travel to Duluth (now in the warmer months), to stay at the Radisson and to eat at the top of the Radisson.
As the picture, above, illustrates, it was not all lovemaking and eating and drinking. We still wanted to make some time for entertainment. Part of that entertainment was playing double solitaire. In Ruthie’s family, a major form of entertainment is playing cards. The preferred family game is 500, and at the time we got married, her dad was really into playing double solitaire. Over the years, different card games and other games come into vogue. For a while Yahtzee was huge. Now, the game is one called Golf.
While dating, Saturday was date night and on most date nights we went to see a movie. Knowing we would be eating at the top of the Radisson that night, we decided to see a matinee. At that time, Duluth was in a bit of a depression. There were only three movie theaters. The big Miller Hill Mall with its cineplex had yet to be built. The three movies playing in Duluth the weekend of December 27th, 1974 were: 1)Deep Throat; 2) The Devil in Miss Jones; and, 3) Winnie the Pooh, and Tigger, Too! What to see, what to see. We had the choice of two pornographic movies and a Disney cartoon movie (though it did have an old black and white Zorro feature before the cartoon). Which film did we see? Was it Linda Lovelace in her memorable role? Was it Marilyn Chambers in another one of her memorable roles? Or was it Tigger? The answer is … “the wonderful thing about Tiggers, are Tiggers are wonderful things …”.
For our tenth wedding anniversary, with three children, Andy, Luke, and Meg, and awaiting the birth of our fourth child, Beth (on Jan 11th), we couldn’t afford to do anything special for our wedding anniversary. Our meals out were pretty much confined to A&W, and frozen pizzas. So to commemorate our wedding anniversary, I composed this song for Ruth.
For those in the musical know, a fugue is a short two measure melody that gets repeated over and over in different ways. It is a joyous, celebratory fugue, done more in the style of Aaron Copland (think his ballet Appalachian Spring). I enjoy it still to this day. FYI, even in slow part, the fugue is repeated but in a form called augmentation in which the fugue melody is slowed down a lot. Where is it, in the low notes of the left hand. Well, that’s enough music nerd stuff.
Happy Anniversary my bride!
