LORD, YOU HAVE DUPED ME AND I ALLOWED MYSELF TO BE DUPED: A Reflection on Ministering in the Church

The capitalized words in the title are uttered by the prophet, Jeremiah (Jeremiah 20:7) There are times when we, who are in Church ministry, fully understand the sentiment that Jeremiah is uttering here.

Idealistic Perception of Church Ministry as Opposed to the Reality of Church Ministry

There is an idealistic perception of what it is to work in Church ministry by those not doing Church ministry that is diametrically opposed to the reality of actually doing Church ministry. This unrealistic idealism is similar to the story of an unmarried, newly ordained minister giving a sermon entitled, “How to raise kids.” Then he got married and had children, at which he changed the title of the sermon to “Suggestions as to how to raise children.” Then his kids got to be adolescents and he quit preaching on the subject altogether.

In my occasional rants about the shortcomings of Roman Catholicism as an institution, I can be justly criticized by some who say, “If it is so bad, why do you continue to stay? Nobody is making you stay.” This is a good and honest question. In short, the Roman Catholic Church is my religious family. It is dysfunctional contradiction of incredible blessings and incredible shortcomings. It can be a very loving mother and at the same time a real “mutha”. Yet, in spite of all this, the Church still remains my family, as dysfunctional as it is. In our relationships with those we love, we always want our loved ones to be the best they can be. In our relationship with them, we will also call them out when we think they are doing something incredibly unloving.

The Tragedy of Rejection

There is nothing more tragic in human relationships than the utter disregard and rejection of a loved one by another. This is just as horrifically tragic when an institution that purports itself to be the beloved of God, the “Bride of Christ”, utterly disregards, rejects, and condemns those within its community. A close inspection of how Christianity as religious institutions have so badly treated those who love it, (e.g. the burning at the stake of St Joan of Arc, the Spanish Inquistion, the 30 years war, the religious persecutions and atrocities, the treatment of the LGBTQ+ community, etc), all done purportedly in the name of God, reveals how Christianity, in all of its manifestations and denominations, has betrayed the mission and teaching of Jesus.

At its best, humanity is a sinful mess, and Jesus chose to immerse himself in the midst of that sinful human mess, inclusively welcoming them all, especially those who were messed up the most, into relationship with him. His own religious authorities hated him so much, they plotted with the Roman occupiers to torture him and execute him. Given the history of Christian denominations over history, we all are guilty of the same sin as Jesus’ own religious authorities.

So Why Are You Still Here?

So, back to if all Churches are as messed up and hypocritical as they are, why do you remain to continue to minister in them? Why don’t you just shuck it all and quit? After all, there is some truth to a saying of WC Fields, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again, then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.” I think my answer to not shucking it all is tied up in this passages of the prophet, Jeremiah, which shows up every other year in the daily readings of the Mass.

The Cynicism (and Realism) of Jeremiah

“You seduced me, LORD, and I let myself be seduced; you were too strong for me, and you prevailed. All day long I am an object of laughter; everyone mocks me. Whenever I speak, I must cry out, violence and outrage I proclaim; The word of the LORD has brought me reproach and derision all day long. I say I will not mention him, I will no longer speak in his name. But then it is as if fire is burning in my heart, imprisoned in my bones; I grow weary holding back, I cannot!”  (Jeremiah 20:7-9)

The word “seduce” has been translated differently from Bible translation to Bible translation. In the original translation of the New American Bible, the word “seduce” was translated as the word, “duped.” “You duped me LORD, and I allowed myself to be duped.” In some other translations, the word is “enticed” or “deceived”. I think the words seduced or enticed are too mild. I prefer the word dupe or deceived because it more accurately states the fact. Why?

There are times, like Jeremiah, when those in Church ministry are so miserable that they think, “Just what was I thinking when I decided to become a priest, or a deacon, a minister, a religious sister or brother?” I know that in some marriages, the same question can arise, as well.  If we are so miserable, why do we stay? Are we incapable of doing something else? Are we all sado-masochists who get some kind of kinky high from the physical, emotional, and spiritual exhaustion and pain of ministry?

Perhaps, our decision is described, as Bill Murray, in the movie “Stripes”, says to his fellow enlistees about enlisting in the army, “But there is one thing that we all have in common. We were all stupid enough to enlist in the Army. We’re mutants.” I concede that prior to ordination, religious profession, to ministering in the Church, there is some idealistic fairy tale musings about ministry. I also concede that in religious formation there is an element of “duping” happening. Otherwise, why would we jump through all the hoops academically and institutionally to work in ministry? However, I think that in Church ministry it is more than just being mutants who are too stupid to know into what we are getting ourselves.

The Great Commandment

For me, it all boils down to trying my utmost to love God with all my mind, all my heart, and all my strength; and, loving my neighbor as myself.  I didn’t get ordained to wear the fancy vestments when assisting at Mass, nor to preach, nor to be able to baptize, marry, and bury. Nor, did I get ordained to impress and to rise within the ranks of the hierarchy of the Archdiocese of St Paul and Minneapolis. Nor, did I get ordained to please the Archbishop. I didn’t know the cost that ministry would have in my life, on my health, and the impact it would have on my family.  Rather, I got ordained in order to serve God and to serve the people God placed in my life. This remains the reason why I continue to serve in ministry. Without this innate desire to love and serve God and neighbor, then our ministry is nothing more than “noisy gong and a clanging cymbal” that the apostle Paul describes in First Corinthians. (1 Corinthians: 1).

The Church, in all its incarnations and denominations, remains a very messy, sinful, hypocritical, and, at times, unloving environment in which to serve. As my wife, Ruthie, continues to love me and live with me, in spite of my own messiness and flaws, so too, I still love the human mess that is the Roman Catholic Church. I remain and at times complain because I love it and know that it can rise to something that could be so much better, so more loving, so more like Christ who instituted it. Jesus did not pick the best when he chose his disciples, but somehow, as flawed and messed up as they were, God worked through them anyway. Through the Holy Spirit, Jesus continues the pattern of not always calling the best to ministry, yet in spite of ourselves, the Church remains and the work of Christ continues.

Hope in Acknowledging We Are ALL Sheep

Pope Francis has called the clergy to not live above and apart from the “sheep” whom we served, but to live and smell like the sheep we serve. Pope Francis is so spot on. What is going to be required is that all who serve in Church ministry, especially the hierarchy, learn that we are not only to smell like the sheep we serve, but we live in solidarity with the sheep that we serve, and acknowledge that we are ALL sheep, with all the same smell, with all the same messiness, and with all the same need for conversion. There is only ONE Shepherd, and we are NOT the Shepherd. When we acknowledge and live in solidarity with the communities we love and serve, then, the Church will begin to live more faithfully the world changing mandate of Jesus to “Love as I have loved you.”